is your mom at the bar?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
