I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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