So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
