I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize