hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
