I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who died my cat blue again?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
