i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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