I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
