O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
