they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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