She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
