Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
