I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
