apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
