remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
