so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
