So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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