How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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