I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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