i think my tv is drunk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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