Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
