So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
