he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
