drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
