If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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