whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
