Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
