someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
