I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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