he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
