if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
