Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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