Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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