And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
