I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
