It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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