No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
