Are we in a gay sports bar?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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