I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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