I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize