3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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