i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
