You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
