My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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