I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
