I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
