i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
