Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
