the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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