That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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