he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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