what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
