i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
