Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
