I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
