i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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