The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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