its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
