Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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