Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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