Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
