I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
