Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
