he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
