Farmville is her only friend.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
